How did it feel to be recognized as Social Worker of the Year?

It’s honestly still sinking in. I know it’s been a couple of months, but I’m still so excited and I feel incredibly humbled. I never expected to receive this award at all, so it was really amazing and such an honor. And since receiving the award, I’ve had even more people reach out to me, which has been really special. I was also selected to be part of the BFF Family (Bananas Foster Families) for the Savannah Bananas.

As someone who was once in foster care yourself, what do you hope every foster parent understands about the children entering their home? What qualities do you look for in someone who wants to become a foster parent?

I bring a different perspective to this because I grew up in foster care, and I’ve also been a foster parent myself. I’ve fostered 24 children and adopted one, so I’m not just looking at whether someone has enough bedrooms or simply wants to foster. I want to understand why they want to do it and make sure they’re doing it for the right reasons.

It’s funny because sometimes people say that people become foster parents for the money, but there really isn’t a lot of money involved unless you’re providing therapeutic or medically fragile care. For me, it’s about their heart. Why are you doing this? What’s the reason behind it?

Safety is also one of the biggest things I look for. I want to know that a child is going to feel safe, loved and cared for in that home. Foster parents need to be able to provide emotional, mental and physical safety for children who have already experienced trauma.

I also think it’s important for people to understand their own experiences and what they may need to work through. If someone has experienced trauma in their own past and says, “I want to be the change,” that can be a powerful motivation, but they also need to make sure they’ve had the opportunity to heal themselves. I learned that the hard way. There was a lot that I needed to overcome and heal from in order to be able to help others.

Ultimately, I’m looking at whether someone is truly the right fit and whether they’re prepared for what foster care can bring. It’s not just about having the space in your home; it’s about having the emotional capacity and willingness to support a child through a very difficult time.

One thing I really like about my job is that we don’t just train people for traditional foster care, we also provide training for therapeutic foster care. Whether you ultimately want to become a therapeutic foster parent or not, you receive that training, which I think is really valuable. We’re also starting to implement TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention training is a trauma-informed, evidence-based program designed to support vulnerable children). I’m really excited about it because it gives foster parents additional tools to understand and respond to children who have experienced trauma.

What does the process of becoming a foster parent look like?

First, you submit the application. Then, you complete all required background checks and fingerprinting and make sure that all required documentation is up to date. After that, you’re required to complete foster-parent training. We’ve consolidated the training from 10 weeks into a 5-week program because we need more foster parents and want to make the process as accessible as possible. All training is conducted over Zoom, making it easier for people who want to foster but may have work schedules, childcare responsibilities or other commitments that could make attending in-person classes difficult. There are still some hands-on requirements that foster parents have to attend in person, including CPR certification and medication management training. I also go out to the home for the initial inspection, which we call an environmental inspection (a social worker interviews you and members of your household and evaluates your home and readiness to foster. They’ll generally check that the home is safe and has appropriate sleeping arrangements). So, that’s generally what the process looks like. We’re really trying to make the process as straightforward and accessible as possible for families who are interested in fostering.

If someone is interested in helping but isn’t ready to foster, what other meaningful ways can they support children in foster care?

A couple of years ago, I started an organization called Out of the Box with Genevieve. It’s part of a nonprofit, so donations are tax-deductible. I started it because I knew, from growing up in foster care, how much something like this would have meant to me. We provide gift boxes to children in foster care, whether that’s every month, for their birthdays or around the holidays. Recently, we collected clear backpacks for children in foster care and adoption, and we’ll be distributing them at a community concert and event.

People can also volunteer at events, help with foster care closets or simply donate. We always need volunteers. Sometimes it’s as simple as helping at a table, handing things out. Tutoring is another huge need. Children in foster care can sometimes fall behind academically because of all the moves they experience. They may change schools or have different teachers. I experienced that myself, so having someone who can provide academic support can make a really big difference.

There are also practical ways to support foster families. Gift cards, meals and help with everyday things can go a long way. When foster parents are juggling social workers, doctors’ appointments, school changes and everything else that comes with caring for a child in foster care, the last thing they may have time or energy to do is prepare a big meal. Bringing them a home-cooked meal or giving them a gift card for a restaurant can be incredibly meaningful.

Another really important way to help is through respite care (it provides planned, short-term relief for primary family caregivers through in-home help, adult day centers, or residential facilities. It lasts from a few hours to several weeks, helping prevent caregiver burnout). People can become licensed respite foster parents and provide temporary care for children when their foster parents need a break. Respite care is also something I know personally. I’ve provided respite care, and I’ve also stayed in respite foster homes myself. One particular experience has stayed with me forever. When I was in foster care, I once stayed in a respite home for two weeks while my foster family took their children to Disney World. At the time, that experience really hurt me. It stayed with me for years. Last year, my mentor actually took me to Disney World, and it was such a phenomenal experience. It felt like it healed a little part of that inner child.

What is the most important rule that you make sure to set with the foster families?

As foster parents going in, we always prepare our families and remind them of one key thing: foster care is meant to be temporary. The whole point is reunification with the child’s family.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. In some counties in North Carolina, over 70% of kids never go back home. They stay in the foster system. But for the children who do get to return to their families, we make it a point to tell them, “We love you and we’ll always be here for you. If you ever want to reach out or come back, that door is open.” It doesn’t always work out that way, but most of the children I’ve fostered, even through respite care, I’m still in contact with today.

Actually, there’s a story I love that’s still unfolding. Right now, I have a young woman going through my foster care classes who I actually fostered years ago. She came to me as a pregnant teen mom and because I’d been a pregnant teen mom in foster care myself, she knew I wasn’t going to judge her. Watching her become a foster parent now, it’s incredibly full-circle. So really, it comes down to preparing our foster parents to be transparent and to remember one thing above all: this isn’t about us. It’s about the child.

What do you wish more people understood about the foster care system?

I wish people understood trauma better because there’s so much our brains simply can’t comprehend, especially when it comes to these innocent children and the way they react, or don’t react, to things. I see a lot of foster parents take it personally. They think, “Why is this my fault?” or “They don’t love me. What am I doing wrong?” But it’s not about you. It’s never about you.

That’s actually why I admire TBRI training so much. It gets you onto the child’s level and teaches you how to respond to them in a way that actually helps. One example TBRI gives, and it happens with my own child all the time, which is why I like it so much, is about tantrums. My daughter was adopted through foster care, and she tends to have what I’d call “trauma tantrums,” usually triggered by change. Take the grocery store, for example. If she starts having a meltdown in the middle of the store, most parents’ instinct is to handle it the way they’d handle any child’s tantrum. But that doesn’t work here. Instead, you get down to their eye level. You talk to them calmly. You’re the one who has to regulate, not them.

One thing that actually works, even though it sounds unconventional, is mirroring them. If she’s wailing on the floor, I get down on the floor and do the same thing. People think that’s strange, but it’s far more effective than trying to pick up a screaming, crying child and drag them out of the store, which usually means you don’t get your shopping done and you’re going to get dirty in the process. But that’s foster care. It’s messy. And I wish more people understood that.

What is the most rewarding part of your job?

Seeing them overcome obstacles, whether it’s mentally, physically or emotionally. When you see change happening, that is so rewarding, even if it’s something small.

For example, maybe a child was having a hard time with potty training because of something they’d been through, some kind of abuse that led to them wetting the bed regularly. And then one night, they don’t. You praise them for it. And it’s so rewarding, because you can see that healing is happening. They’re overcoming something. So for me, the most rewarding part is watching them start to flourish and heal.

Are there any specific programs or projects you’ve been involved in that you’re especially proud of?

There’s a group I’ve been working with over the past year and a half, through Foster America. We’ve been developing apps to help children transition out of foster care and we got to present them on the second annual Fostering Futures Forum at the MIT Media Lab. That was huge for me because I grew up in that area, in Boston. Going to MIT was like a dream.

So, the app I’m working on is called Goal Booster. It hasn’t been released yet, but it’s designed to help children, teens and young adults navigate independent life. It covers things like how to get your driver’s license, how to open a bank account, how to find an apartment—practical skills.

One of the features I made sure was included is a section on cooking and recipes. I remember my now-husband once asked me to make him chicken parmesan. I didn’t know how to cook. So, I bought the chicken, the spaghetti, the sauce and the cheese, but I didn’t even know you were supposed to boil water before adding the spaghetti. Long story short: the chicken was raw inside and I nearly gave him salmonella poisoning by accident [laughs]. That’s exactly why cooking is part of the app. 

So it sounds like it’ll have a lot of chapters. One is on financial literacy, one on cooking. What else is included?

Mental health counseling and related resources are also included, if that’s something kids need. Mentorship is also a big one. We want to connect kids with someone they can turn to. Mentors would go through a background check, and it might be one of our fellows or someone from our network. And the kids would actually have some choice in the matching process too. Like whether they’d prefer a mentor who’s a woman or a man, or someone from a specific area who might understand their background better. Giving them that sense of choice and control really matters.

Since September is Kinship Care Month, let’s talk about it: Why do you think many kinship caregivers remain informal or unlicensed rather than becoming officially involved in the foster care system?

Because dealing with the state and with the courts can be a headache. A lot of people don’t trust the courts’ decisions. And, honestly, I don’t blame them. So many of those decisions are made without the full picture, without anyone truly understanding the situation or spending time in the home to see what the family actually needs. That’s a big part of why kinship caregivers choose to stay unlicensed.

What kind of support do you think kinship caregivers need the most?

Financial support would be huge. They definitely need that. But really, it’s support across the board: encouragement, resources, all of it. Everything we give to a licensed foster parent should be given to kinship caregivers too, if not more. Just because a child is placed with family doesn’t mean the trauma isn’t there. It doesn’t mean the issues disappear.